Oh, Mercy and me.

I told this story on Twitter yesterday, in 52 tweets. Some folks were touched by it. So here it is, in paragraph form, with very little changed.

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I don’t think I told this before. It’s a story about Bob Dylan’s music & me. And the kindness of a woman (not that type of kindness). And has nothing to do with politics, except that it involves a song about politics. It’s really about the romance of being young, and believing very much in the transformative power of music.

So this is 1988/9. I’m working at Elektra Records. Have been sent west to oversee the making of Faster Pussycat’s next album. This story is not about Faster Pussycat. Even though I had a fascinating time engaging with them and learned a ton about identity and point of view by watching Taime Downe work.

ANYWAY…

While in LA, I worked down the hall from Carole Childs, who was…1) A great person to learn from, smart, kind, wise, 2) a high level creative exec who made albums for a living and…3)was also in a long time romantic relationship with Bob Dylan at the time.

Bob Dylan was, and remains, essentially my favorite living artist of any kind. (I thought of this last night as Amy and I drove to pick up our son at the airport. I wanted to put on a perfect album).

So, while Carole and I were in LA, Bob was working on Oh, Mercy down in New Orleans with Daniel Lanois. I was 22 years old when this all takes place. And was very up front about my love of, and knowledge of, Dylan’s work. At the time, Dylan was in a lower ebb of cultural relevance. He was still enormously relevant, but not so much with the under 30 crowd.

Carole said it was cool that I, at that age, was a Dylan head. She thought he was making an important album, maybe his most significant in years, and, although she wasn’t working with him officially, she was getting tapes daily from the studio, and Bob was calling her to ask for guidance. I know this because I would sit in her office and hear her side of the calls.

When the calls would end, she’d say, “Bobby doesn’t have any idea how good this record can be. And then she’d say, “wanna hear a song?”

First one she played me was Ring Them Bells. Then What Was It You Wanted. Then Disease of Conceit. Then Man In The Long Black Coat None of these were finished recordings. She’s ask my opinion, which was, Holy Shit! And then she’d ask me detailed questions. What I didn;t know was she was then telling Bob that there was this kid who loved the music.

See, she and Lanois were trying to convince Bob that the record was special and he could connect with a more current audience. So she would put her REAL AND SMART OPINIONS in my mouth, as though the kid said them.

*It’s important to note: I contributed nothing. Said nothing of value. Carole said a bunch of brilliant stuff. Essentially, she and Lanois wanted Bob to sing vocals a second time to nail them. Eventually, he did.

They finished the album. I stopped getting to hear stuff.

Until: one night, late, she called me into her office. Had me shut the door, said, “we are having a hard time sequencing the record. I want you to listen and tell me what you think of this sequence. But,” she said, “no one can know you have the tape. No one in the world has it. There are no copies. His own label doesn’t have it. And,” she said (this is before the Internet, so there are no files) “You cannot make a copy. Cannot play it for a friend. I need your word.”

I shook on it. And left with the only copy of Oh, Mercy anyone had who wasn’t in the studio with Bob and Lanois.

But I had a roommate. So couldn’t play it at the apartment. I decided to drive to Santa Barbara and back, on US1, all night long, listening in the car.

This was a rented Ford Mustang convertible.

So that’s what I did. And the sequence didn’t need any input from me or Carole or anyone. It was the album you know.

I will never forget the car filling with the sounds of Political World. It was jaw dropping. I hadn’t heard that song before.
(I still think that’s the most relevant and important song there is right now).

I drove and drove and let the album become a part of me. Imagine those haunted New Orleans sounds drenched in Lanois ambience, and only you and the night sky and the Pacific Ocean on your left.

Or right, on the way back.

I have always thought it’s one of the best albums ever made.

And that night remains singular to me. Because it was as if Bob, who had no clue who I was, and never really would, was only singing to me.

Last night, driving to the airport, Amy and I put it on, and this all came flooding back.

As shitty as the world sometimes is, great art, art like Bob Dylan’s on Oh, Mercy, reminds me what we’re capable of. As does the kindness Carole showed me. Because that’s what was really going on.

I was a boy, alone in Los Angeles, in a grownups job. And she saw that, and decided to give me the gift of pretending I was helping. And then the gift of that all night drive, just me and Bob, and the sky and those songs.

And I will always be grateful, and try to pass it on. And I will always listen to Oh, Mercy and remember all of this, warmly, and, I hope, with some sense of grace for a moment in time that changed me, in a wonderful way.

Brief thoughts of Lou Reed on his 75th

Lou Reed would’ve been 75 today. I can still remember sitting in the great Bruce Harris’ office at RCA records, in 1984 or 1985–I was interning for the summer–talking about guitarists. I was trying to explain to him why Yngwie Malmsteen was a great player when Bruce help up a hand. Want to hear great fucking guitar playing? And perfect words? Listen to this! And he put on Vicious. “That’s Mick Ronson playing with Lou Reed.” I was blown back in my chair. It was the perfect moment for Lou to come into my life. The words just cut through me. I went, that day, and got all the albums. And listened to them closely for the rest of that summer. Then got all the Velvet’s records. Memorized those. When Mistrial came out, I dove right in. Went to see him live. When New York came out 5 years later, I was ready for it in every way, and it instantly and forever became one of the most important albums in my life, one I have never gone three weeks without listening to since.
I know Lou was a difficult cat. I met him once, shook his hand, got nothing from him at all. But the songs and records have given me everything. I would say, lifetime, I have listened to Bob Dylan the most, then rem, Bruce and Lou. (Jason Isbell is fast catching up, but that’s a different post at a different time). Each of those artists has felt like a close friend, like a shoulder, like a teacher.
As a writer, Lou’s economy of words, his bite, his willingness to lose you because he knows he’ll get you back, has been a constant inspiration.
He would’ve turned 75 today.
Fuck. I hate when the greats pass on.
Bruce Harris is gone too, much too young, but I am forever grateful for Vicious and all it’s given me since.
Happy Birthday, Lou.

Philip Roth and Me, A Micro-Memoir

I told this as a twitter story. Posted here without hashtags. This story is 100 per cent true.

Philip Roth and Me. A mico-memoir.

1993

Just married. 25 years old. Move into pre-war on Upper West Side of NYC.

Get in elevator one night, with my wife, Amy–and standing there, looking every bit like himself, is…Philip Roth.

Yep. Philip Fucking Roth. And I can’t help myself.

“Mr. Roth,” I say as the elevator man puts the thing in gear, “Portnoy’s Complaint is a very important book to me.”

Well, my son, did it improve your character?” Roth asks as the elevator arrives at my floor.

I gesture towards Amy and, thinking myself clever say, “you’ll have to ask her.”

We step onto our floor. But just before the doors close, Roth leans out and says, “Well, it’s not supposed to.” And chuckles.

Leaving me to look like an idiot in front of my 21 year old bride.

Turns out that Roth lives 10 floors above us.

Every morning on the subway to work back then (this is before I became a writer), I’d read. And I read two or three novels a week.

All sorts of shit.

One morning I was reading some sort of popular fiction. Real crap that I dug. And as I got to the front door I hesitated.
What if Roth saw the book? He’d think I was even more of a schmuck than he already did.

So I, in a fit of intellectual insecurity, left the book at home.

Of course, he wasn’t in the elevator. And I had nothing to read all day.

Worse, The train home gets stuck en route and I have nothing to read for the 45 minutes we are stranded.

All I do is sit there and stew at myself–how can I be both so intellectually insecure and also so egotistic as to…

1) care what Roth thinks about what I read and 2) imagine that he would either notice or give a shit at all.

This was Philip Goddamn Roth.

Why the fuck would he care what the kid in 5B was ingesting through the eyes?

And also, what were the fucking chances we would run into each other. I had still only seen him seven times total in the 3 years.

I resolve to read whatever the fuck I wanted from them on and to just generally calm the fuck down about all this crap.

So after that, I’d read whatever wherever.

Except. One morning I was carrying another popular novel. I got to the front door. Hesitated.

Remembered my promise to myself and kept moving. e

The elevator door opened. In I walked. And standing there was the man himself.

I quickly leaned against the wall, sliding the book behind my leg.

But he noticed. Hard. ”Eh, eh. Uh uh. What’ve you got there? What are you hiding?” said Roth.

“Um…this…” said I.

“Ah yes…” the great man said, already going into a strong Roman
accent, “Mario Puzo…” and he rolls the R sound…

And smiling wide, he continues, “The Last Don, one of the greats…”

“Well, I’m just…”

“It’s no use, young man. Curt here,” and he points to the elevator man, “is on assignment. He keeps records for me.

No matter what you do, you can’t hide! I always know what you’re reading.”

And then the elevator hits bottom, Roth gets out, and I am left standing there, all alone with Curt, feeling like a total ass.

I hear Roth laughing as he strolls the fuck out of the front door of the building, into his town car…

Leaving me standing in the lobby, not moving, book clenched so hard in my hand as to cause my fingers to hurt.


I just saw that Philip Roth died today. RIP, sir. You were one of the best who ever did the thing. And could bust balls with the best of em, too.